Depression is like a huge, black pit. After it pulls you in, you can’t get out. So you spend countless nights crying yourself to sleep. You spend days in your room separating yourself from others. You feel like doing absolutely nothing ever. You’re constantly hoping things will get better, but also wondering if they ever actually will. And the worst part? When you finally start to get happy again, depression tries to pull you back in and you crash harder than before.
Why I am writing about depression? Because according to suicide.org, a teen takes his or her own life every 100 minutes. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24. Approximately 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood, and between 10 to 15 percent suffer from symptoms at any one time.
I struggled with depression and anxiety for a few years. I learned it is extremely misunderstood. People think they understand it but really the only people who understand are the people who have also struggled with it. The worse part about it was I felt guilty for feeling sad, because there are people who are in way worse situations than me. When I explained my depression or anxiety to the best of my ability, I wasn’t looking for special treatment, I was trying to explain why things were hard.
I felt like quitting several times, and thankfully I’m still here today happier than ever and doing great, but I’m glad I went through depression, because of what it taught me.
Depression taught me life is tough. Depression and anxiety crashed in when I was at the innocent age of 13. When I was 12 everything seemed close to perfect. I thought because I was a Christian, God would take care of me and I would never struggle. That was a lie and I’m glad I realized that sooner than later. Sometimes God takes away everything, so we realize all that matters is Him.
Doing the small things like getting out of bed, going roller skating, or taking a hike showed me God still cares, even when it feels like He’s not there.
God did not create depression. For awhile I blamed God on what I was going through and that only made things worse. No matter how hard I tried to push away God, the more obvious it seemed that what I was going through was from sin, and God is the only healer of sin. Even though it wasn’t my fault I was struggling with depression, the devil tried to use it to make me blame God.
Lies come from the devil. Depression speaks to you. Either out loud or in your head. It tells you lies about yourself. It tells you God doesn’t love you. These lies do not come from you, and they don’t come from God. You either blame yourself for these lies or you blame God or you blame both, but these lies come from the devil and pushing away God away, brings the devil closer.
Depression taught me to always take that first step… because that’s always the start of a new beginning.